Friday, November 28, 2008

Uuuhg....!

It's 8:46 in the morning, on a rainny Friday, and my umbrella is broken...again.

I have no class today but I came to school anyway in an attempt to get some work done, namely my psych 363 paper. But let me tell ya, this was a foolish notion because around this time of day, an over-worked student's brain DOES NOT WORK!!! Instead, I find myself surfing random websites such and of course blogging, unconsciously putting off writing the damn thing. Now, I know some of you morning people may think 8:46 is hardly considered early and that I'm being a bit of a wiener for complaining, but I am a total night owl! I'm much more productive after dusk, and would much rather pull an all-nighter studying. Plus, I actually woke up at 6 A.M. along with my boyfriend, so he can lock the door because I have no key.

I haven't my camera present, but I've got a good outfit going on right now, so I will post pictures of my outfit "in situ", ergo me wearing them later. But for now, I've found pictures of the pieces via google image and ebay as "static" representatives (accesories not inluded!)...


My sweater is more "Bill Cosby" and thrifted and less argyle and form-fitting than this. I also have on a skinny belt and a black scarf.


Again, mine was thrifted, kneed length but less "mom-ish" more "mod". Under this I have on black leggings.


Thrifted thus more "scuffs and buffs", less "combat" more "victorian".

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Killing Time In the Memory Lab


Sometimes, I miss my dreads a great deal...

I should probably be revising my paper for psych 362 right now, but what little enjoyment I get out of critically analyzing Garden State, is slowly diminishing with every instances of "reading-and-rewriting". Instead, I am blogging. -- salvaging whatever sanity I have left so close to exams.

On a completely unrelated topic...

I've been trying to establish the perfect harmony between grunge and lolita-esque styles of fashion while remaining campy and not contrived like an angry teenager trying to be poetic (ie Avril Lavigne).

Perhaps this look is along the lines of what I desire. Her style is truly captivating!

Monday, November 17, 2008

November Sun

After week of heavy rain, it sure was refreshing to see some sun. I gotta say, the world is so much more alive and radiant in luminescence!
Friends and I went on a picture taking rendezvous around the SFU campus. The results are very pleasing to eye.

Shalini and Aaron were walking ahead of me most of the time because I was too preoccupied with picture taking. Everything was so bright and shiny, I was distracted with every head-turn.

Who says SFU looks prison-esk? This is gorgeous!
It was a very unproductive day in terms of getting learning done, but who wants to sit in a lecture hall for three hours while you can be outside, basking in the sunshine?

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Birthday Blues

I just recently survived my 22nd birthday and I am now reflecting on the whole experience and concluded that it was not only anticlimactic but also a little bit depressing. It landed on a Sunday, thusly the "celebration" kicked in as soon as the weekend began. People around me seemed to be a lot more enthusiastic about me being born 22 years ago on that day than myself. Of course I did have some very memorably delightful moments during this weekend-long hoopla, but the I find the overall experience to be self serving, unnecessary and a waste of resources.
Generally speaking I am not a negative person, I am hopeful about many different things. I believe in the "power of one". I advocate the assumptions of innate human goodness and am particularly good at recognizing the purpose and benevolence of every single occurrences in life, big or small. But when it comes to the day where everyone is obligated to make you feel "special", I simply cannot seem to enjoy the moment.
Perhaps the root of my tendency to devalue my birthday stems from parental neglect as a child. After all, the only memories of me having any fun on my birthday was me at two years old, eating Chinese dumplings. And again at four, receiving a pink music card in the mail from my parents, whom left me after my second birthday for a three-year-long business trip.
When I think of birthday, I think of balloons, cakes, candles, confetti and other childish knick-knacks. Therefore maybe only children under the age of twelve get excited about celebrating their birthdays, I mean what can a twenty-two year old do for her birthday that can be considered exciting or extraordinary? Invite a bunch of people to a birthday party whom perhaps are only there because they feel obligated? Go out and consume a ridiculous amount of alcohol which later exacerbate the "birthday blues"? Hire a clown to perform magic tricks for me and all my friends in class? Clearly, none of the aforementioned activities make a "happy birthday" and would definitely not make me feel appreciated or special.
After careful analysis, I think the source of my birthday related head-funk is predominantly due to social anxiety. Having so much emphasis being place on the day on which I was born is a little unnerving. I feel as if though people are only treating the birthday person well because it is his/her birthday and not because they truly like him/her or they want him/her to feel important. Furthermore, to me it just doesn't feel natural that we are still hullaballoo-ing about a birth that happened two decades ago. I often feel like a self-centered asshole, demanding attention and expecting presents from friends and families. I think perhaps some people even use birthdays as a "get out of jail free" card. I'm not anti-celebration, I believe in festive acts, I think they bring people together and reinforces valued behaviors. I just don't think birthdays are that big of deals. All in all, I just don't see anything worth celebrating for, so to complete this negativity ridden post, I wallow in my own despair brought on by the proverbial feeling of "another year older, and none the wiser."

p.s. I think it is a good thing that I felt shitty about my birthday, because it prompt me to want write again...I am much more communicative when I'm slightly uncomfortable in life.