Tax Season is Good News for the Working Poor

Tax season is great because it means that the Canadian government will be paying me back some of my well-deserved monies that they've been holding hostage for the past year.

As I was filing my taxes (that's right, I am THAT capable) earlier this evening I realized just how much we undercut ourselves based on our incomes and tax deductibles. Actually, this realization came to me earlier last week when I was freaking out over my lost credit card and had to file for fraud on the last purchase on the statement. I was all worried that the fraud claim meant that my life will be overrun by investigators and corporate lawyers grilling me on every bit of fiscal detail. The whole time I was thinking "why would they just re-credit my account without even flinching? $300 dollars is a lot of money!"

Truth be told, I panicked a little because I was so afraid that no one would believe me and will eventually fault me for being so careless with my belongings. Then, after half an hour of me pacing in my living room, dreaming up escape strategies and mentally writing down a list of my most cherished things I would leave for my loved ones once I skip town, I remembered to resort to logic instead. What I deduced was that to a multi-billion dollar corporation like the bank, to say that $300 is peanuts to them,  is even beyond an understatement. It would made absolutely no sense for them to go into a full-fledged investigation on a $300 credit card fraud. Even if they did, it wouldn't involve lawyers and investigators knocking on my door. It would've been collection letters or some other annoying "this-is-a-vague-but-stern-warning" forms of notice stuffed into my mailboxes over the span of four months until I eventually give them back the ill-gotten credits.

After realizing this, I began to feel sad for myself; and then, anger.

My rage response was catapulted by many reasons. The first of those is that I had entirely based my sense of self-worth on how much money was in my bank. The fact that I had psyched myself out so much both because I lost $300 and my credit card was a prime example of how much money determines my mental state thus state of well-being. Then that was exacerbated when I eventually realized just how "unworthy" I am. Not long after a period of temporary illusion of "THIS $300 DOLLAR DISCREPANCY IS GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE BECAUSE MY FINANCIAL ACTIVITIES IS OF GREAT INTEREST TO EVERYONE." Which is also depressing and demoralizing because I felt like a powerless little person in at the mercy of giant financial corporations.
Honestly, just think about how much freedom you gain when you have more money in the bank. If a large part of a human being as a free-agent is her volition to act based on her own accord then it's fair to associate money with freedom because money way more opportunities, thus way more freedom. If freedom is one of the fundamental goals and aspirations for a person wouldn't the relinquishment of that freedom defeat a sense of purpose, identity and self-worth? Thus isn't money one of the most evil things we are all love to hate and hate to love? FUCK!

T.U.K.-ing On My Heart Strings

This is amazing-sauce! Our humble little band Scrambled Debutante got our first review in the Georgia Straight!  Which means we are now a legitimate band because people have now judged and wrote about those judgements for the public eye in hopes to sway their opinion!!! Now I know what it feels like to be totally fucking famous! Raawwrrrrrrrr!!!!!

Second tidbit of excitement: I was interview on CJSF last Friday for their International Women's Day special to talk about what it feels like to a feminist and a female musician in Vancouver. I talked intensely for half an hour and have never been so proud to be speaking about things that are extremely personal to me.

It seems like things are on the upswing for me and I'm enjoying every moment of it.

Back to business of being serious though. I'm still struggling with creating a workable angle for the new blog. While I want to start a new blog less fashion-focused, I still want my own personal aesthetics to be a part of it. Also, I was told that this blog isn't really about fashion so maybe I'm already achieving what my supposed new blog is going to be all about?

Regardless. I will keep you all informed about any future developments. Now, I'm going to go bask in the temporary glory of how frighteningly much people seem to like me.

Lovelorn

Hello world! My graduate school application is on its way to being judged and scrutinized by a committee of people who can potentially destroy my life without me ever knowing what the hell happened.

I'm hoping to start a new blog soon and so far it's been hard to consolidate all I want to say into one. Perhaps it'll just be another jumble of topics like I have been known to dish out on this blog. Maybe I'll take a more esoteric angle for the special interest groups?

More Stuff on Being a Girl

I am a girl, a woman, a female, born with XX chromosomes and equipped with hormone receptors that caps off the effects of testosterones long before the formation of facial hair.

Because I am a girl, I am also more likely to be sexually harassed, discriminated against, judged first based on my appearance. I would also have a harder time trying to prove to people that I'm more than just a "pretty face", just as capable, if not more, as "that guy" and won't cry every time I menstruate. 

I've always been sensitive, more than most, to anything that is charged with gender. It could be something people say in passing, an ad on T.V. a sexist joke or even the social ramification the differential eating patterns of males and females. Lately, I have been especially on edge, almost borderline hostile whenever I perceive anything that remotely suggest one gender is superior to another. The cruel irony here of course is that perhaps I am just pissy and volatile because I'm on my period. However, this isn't plateauing off like my period. In fact, quite the opposite is happening because this internal, great big ball of feminist rage is only getting more potent with each passing day where somewhere in the world a woman has been subjected to some form of discrimination or violence by virtue of the fact that she is a woman.

I have no real way to pacify this feeling nor do I have an appropriate and positive ending to this post. In a way it mirrors the helplessness I sometimes feel as an angry feminist, constantly trying to break free of my gender roles and battle the stereotypes.
Also. I have decided to start a new blog with a focus on culture, gender politics and art. No more fashion posts but the outfits will be featured on my Tumblr.

Zebras and New Hair

Happy Sunday!

New Hair!

In the process of applying for grad school. Wish me luck!