What if I say I shall not wait?
What if I burst the fleshly gate
And pass, escaped, to thee?
What if I file this mortal off,
See where it hurt me, - that's enough, -
And wad in liberty?
They cannot take us any more, -
Dungeons my call, and guns implore,
Unmeaning now, to me
As laughter was an hour ago,
or laces, or a traveling show,
Or who died yesterday
-- Emily Dickinson
Today is QiXi, aka Chinese Valentines day. It is the seventh day and of the seventh lunar month according to the Chinese calendar. I've never been known to enjoy the celebration of any festivals or holidays and today is of no exception. The reason why I wanted to mention QiXi is because I am more intrigued by the folklore behind it more than the cultural traditions associated with it. The story, if any of you care to know is about the love between a mortal and a goddess and the forbidden love they share that eventually lead to their eternal separation. On the surface it is just one of the many cliche love tales but to me it is a case of the struggle not for love, but for rather companionship.Some years ago when I viewed everything through rose colored classes, I was a firm believer of true love and the existence of "the one" or a "soul mate". But as time passed and people changed, so have my conceptions about what love really is. And to me, the yearning to be with someone is as simple albeit powerful as the desire to seek companionship. We see this in the animal kingdom, although differing in purpose and social codes, human beings are just as driven to seek out any suitable mate as animals. Thus this primal instinct is non-discriminatory, meaning we don't really care if we get matched up with "the one" as long as we find one.
For all the romantics out there, I'm sorry if this has disappointed you but it is merely of my personal opinion and observation. However, I do believe that our will to seek out companionship and the desire to maintain it is what eventually transform into what we call "love". And this love to me is very, very real and in no ways like that between two mating animals. However, we must understand that this powerful and unique bond between people must first stem from the need for companionship therefore it is not exclusive to members of the opposite sex. We also must understand that the only type of love worth maintaining is one having endured many conflicts and great hardship because that is the only test of one's commitment to another. In conclusion, this trumps the idea of "soul mate" because the implication of "destined to be together" connotes not an idea of "fighting for what's valued" but a notion of "what's yours will always be effortlessly yours".