Growing up is exciting. I know that because I literally experience it every day. Both in myself as well as vicariously through the kids I work with. That's the other cool thing about hanging out with kids is that you never really introspectively think about just how much your own self have grown until you see it in others. Being the outsider looking in on the lives of these children serves as an alternative perspective which can some times provide valuable information about the self or makes you feel very, very old.
Some kids graduated today and some moved onto a higher grade. For the sentimental and attentive ones, I say onto thee, "hey kids, congratulations, enjoy the best years of your life then start a fashion blog and rant about things in the most esoteric and sporadic way possible."
I haven't been the thriftiest person lately because I discovered just how much I enjoy shopping online. That's probably the saddest thing I've ever experienced because I now have solid evidence that I'm lazy as fuck. So lazy that I won't even get off my ass to go to the thrift store even though potential kick-ass outfits at a bargain could so easily be achieved.
When I do leave the house for things other than necessities such as going to work or buying food because I simply can't eat frozen dumplings for the fourth day in a row, I've been known to find some rare gems. Like this Boss Hog CD I found at the local used book store. The sad thing is, I don't own a CD player.
This speaks to me in so many ways. One, I sometimes really enjoy emocore. Two, I've actually broken many strings where at the time felt like the perfect reason to lose it and start bawling because all those times happened in the middle of an intense jam or live on stage.
I used to be in two bands. One of them dissolved due to conflict of interest and I quit the other so in the end I was left with no bands. For the past several months, music and I were not on the best of terms.
Today was my first band practice in more than six months and it went swimmingly. I am very pleased and exciting to be playing again. I sincerely feel like this time is it; fame and fortune all the fucking way!
Sometimes I feel like being combative and difficult. Especially towards those who think just because they sign my pay cheques they can exploit my labour and good intentions.
On Monday, my presence was demanded at the company annual meeting where apparently the staff are expected to present a variety of child appropriate and developmentally beneficial programs and activities to parents, board members, concerned educators of the community and of course the executive director of the organization. I have never attended one of these meetings before but with my recent brush with company politics, I decided that it wouldn't be a great idea if I attended something which would result in me trapped in a depressing community centre for two hours with a group of apathetic, life-loathing people. Instead, I went home, got drunk and felt asleep while doing online shopping.
I'm not always such an asshole. I just don't ever want to be a part of something so contrived and offer any shred of effort in trying to convey a false public image about an organization that simply isn't as progressive or communally responsible as they make themselves out to be.
In the business of child care, a few do it for the money. I do it because the kids are hilarious and they keep me from becoming too pessimistic. Sometimes, being able to relate to kids is seriously therapeutic. You'd be surprised how much finger painting and bubble making can restore your faith in the world. Thus if my only purpose and genuine intention in this line of work is working with the children and ensuring their proper growth and enjoyment of life, why should I give a shit about how to impress the adults about what kind of "age appropriate" programs I can offer? All I'm saying is, no adult can truly know what kids enjoy and what is suitable for their development. I just think it's presumptuous and backwards to hold a meeting with a bunch old fuddy duddies to discuss what they think the kids should like to play and should want to do while the simple answer can come much easier from the kids themselves.