Lovelorn

Hello world! My graduate school application is on its way to being judged and scrutinized by a committee of people who can potentially destroy my life without me ever knowing what the hell happened.

I'm hoping to start a new blog soon and so far it's been hard to consolidate all I want to say into one. Perhaps it'll just be another jumble of topics like I have been known to dish out on this blog. Maybe I'll take a more esoteric angle for the special interest groups?

What's Up, Doc?

You know me. I don't really write about fashion in the format of sentences and words unless it's something that really gets me excited. Today, I'm going to take a moment and appreciate the sheer awesomeness that is of Doc Marten shoes.

It's no secrete that I'm stupid crazy in love with Doc Martens seeing how they're featured in over 75% of my outfits. I've been a proud owner of my Docs for over four years and have found ways to make them look great with anything and everything. I wear them pretty much all seasons long and have even rocked them at formal affairs.

This is not a sales pitch for Doc Martens but rather an example of high quality fashion and timeless aesthetic. By owning a pair of shoes that is functional, stylish, durable and versatile, it creates so much potential for creativity, development for personal style and less waste and consumerism. Which, in a way, embodies a lot of how I see fashion and what it means to be a conscientious fashion enthusiast.

If you haven't gotten yourself a pair of these puppies, I think you really should get on it!

animals are wonderful

The disillusionment of coming to terms with the true nature of relationships can be one's greatest lament. 

Great minds have tried for centuries to define relationships and what they psychologically represent for the development of the self. Melanie Klein proposed the object relations theory and outlined human infancy in terms of how the ego unravels as it draws associations with the outside world and everything it encounters; hence object relations. 

It is not until when things got a little bit more complicated and more complicated things such as emotions and cognitions started to play a part in how people position themselves. The truth is, no one can truly fathom what their relationships mean because over time relationships fade and strengthen due to a myriad of variables. Each object is subjected to the manipulation of multiple variables thus to account for and understand every object and how they can potentially influence you over time is impossible. 

What is truer and triter than anything is the fact that we are a product of biology and evolution (depending on your beliefs) and that in itself exists in a vacuum. Very little argument can be made about the animalism in every human. In the end, we can only hope to measure ourselves, albeit incompletely, based on instincts. 

Fitness and Finesse

Everybody knows of change but no one really expects them. I mean that in the most sincere way possible; no cliche.

Being a vegetarian was easy because I had a cause. Also, I was hopeful enough to think that my conscientiousness was going to, on a minuscule scale, save the world. If you had told me, during past the years of me wallowing in my own sense of self-righteousness that I will one day consume flesh again, I would've thrown a fit and tried to shit-kick you in the face for undermining my "martyrdom". Subsequently, I would've also upped the ante and adopted an even more extreme diet (ie. fruitaranism), not so much to prove you wrong, but to prove myself worthy of...something.

The thing about change is that when you're in the middle of it, you don't really feel like anything different really happened. At least for me. When I ate my first piece of lobster one month ago, I didn't feel the same guilt as I usually would've had consumed, even accidentally something laced with animal death. Instead, I justified it and the meat tasted like sustenance should; nourishing, delicious but most importantly, guilt-free. It has been a month since I started eating sea food and I can very well see this change of perception in meat consumption as the beginning of a slippery slope toward full-blown omnivourism. 

Though this change directly threatens my identity, I experience no greater anxiety than usual. Ironically, it is this lack of response that I find more unsettling than anything else. Here I am, a strict vegetarian (a label I was proud to be associated with) for just under 6 years has now included seafood into her diet. This makes me question the real intent behind my vegetarianism and so far, I've only come to realize that perhaps the diet restriction was too much of a compromise or perhaps I for once don't have to justify this to anyone.