Tax season is great because it means that the Canadian government will be paying me back some of my well-deserved monies that they've been holding hostage for the past year.
As I was filing my taxes (that's right, I am THAT capable) earlier this evening I realized just how much we undercut ourselves based on our incomes and tax deductibles. Actually, this realization came to me earlier last week when I was freaking out over my lost credit card and had to file for fraud on the last purchase on the statement. I was all worried that the fraud claim meant that my life will be overrun by investigators and corporate lawyers grilling me on every bit of fiscal detail. The whole time I was thinking "why would they just re-credit my account without even flinching? $300 dollars is a lot of money!"
Truth be told, I panicked a little because I was so afraid that no one would believe me and will eventually fault me for being so careless with my belongings. Then, after half an hour of me pacing in my living room, dreaming up escape strategies and mentally writing down a list of my most cherished things I would leave for my loved ones once I skip town, I remembered to resort to logic instead. What I deduced was that to a multi-billion dollar corporation like the bank, to say that $300 is peanuts to them, is even beyond an understatement. It would made absolutely no sense for them to go into a full-fledged investigation on a $300 credit card fraud. Even if they did, it wouldn't involve lawyers and investigators knocking on my door. It would've been collection letters or some other annoying "this-is-a-vague-but-stern-warning" forms of notice stuffed into my mailboxes over the span of four months until I eventually give them back the ill-gotten credits.
After realizing this, I began to feel sad for myself; and then, anger.
My rage response was catapulted by many reasons. The first of those is that I had entirely based my sense of self-worth on how much money was in my bank. The fact that I had psyched myself out so much both because I lost $300 and my credit card was a prime example of how much money determines my mental state thus state of well-being. Then that was exacerbated when I eventually realized just how "unworthy" I am. Not long after a period of temporary illusion of "THIS $300 DOLLAR DISCREPANCY IS GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE BECAUSE MY FINANCIAL ACTIVITIES IS OF GREAT INTEREST TO EVERYONE." Which is also depressing and demoralizing because I felt like a powerless little person in at the mercy of giant financial corporations.
Honestly, just think about how much freedom you gain when you have more money in the bank. If a large part of a human being as a free-agent is her volition to act based on her own accord then it's fair to associate money with freedom because money way more opportunities, thus way more freedom. If freedom is one of the fundamental goals and aspirations for a person wouldn't the relinquishment of that freedom defeat a sense of purpose, identity and self-worth? Thus isn't money one of the most evil things we are all love to hate and hate to love? FUCK!
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