Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Freudian

For the nth time today, someone called me "small" and "cute" but this time it was different because usually those words would annoy me to no end. But today, instead of cringing immediately following the echoic impression of those adjectives, I simply responded to them with a mental "whatdiyagonnado" shrug. And that in itself seemed a tad strange to me. I couldn't help but wonder if this new found indifference was a result of me getting used to being labeled that all the time or simply a classic case of "learned helplessness" where I've pretty much lost all hope in trying to get people to see me as more than that. Either way, both options indicate defeat. I think I'm a classic case of someone who has deep-seated inferiority complex and being constantly referred to as "small", "cute", "petite" or sometimes just plain" awwwwww" are just the type reinforcements for sustaining this underlying anxiety.
Seeing how some women out there are obsessed with "sizing-down" they would probably want to shoot me for complaining about having a small stature. However, I would just like to justify my annoyance with the fact that being called "small" may seem like flattery in today's "fat-prejudice" society, the truth is I (along with my fellow "tiny" people) do not feel complimented. In fact, I feel somewhat insulted whenever people comment on my size. It makes me feel patronized, belittled and de-individualized. More importantly, when and why did people start considering "small" as a positive trait to characterize someone? Moreover, the worst part of it is that whenever I would speak up against those "sizeist" comments, I get weird looks like I'm crazy for not wanting to be perceived as "small". As if I'm oblivious or simply stupid for not recognizing that they have just given me a praise. In in that sense, I think "small" people are at a disadvantage because while "bigger" people can rant and express their offense, us small folks are not only "not allowed" to protest, we are also sometimes expected to simply accept or even thank those who "awarded" us with those labels. I think there should be a new category of prejudice called "sizeism" and it should apply not only to those who are over-weight but also those who are smaller than the average population.
(I put the words "small" and "big" in quotations because I don't endorse their connotations or their over-usage in describing people whom we really don't know anything about.)

This outfit was inspired by a someone on lookbook. To compensate for my lack of height, I wore high-waisted pants and a crop top, but regardless of my attempt at achieving a few "visual inches", I was still called "small".

7 comments:

♥Mimi said...

i don't like being called "small" either, tho i guess it's better than being called other things.

Some of my friends are always saying how lucky I am to be "short" and "small" but I don't see the upside.

Will you feel better if i said you weren't "cute" or "petite". cuz i think you're stylish, talented, and great with your words.

hehe i liked this post! and your outfit. i finally went out and bought a crop top today O__o will be wearing it soon muahahaha. after seeing all of yours, i found myself wanting one LOL. you look great in em but i don't know how i will look.

thank you for your lovely comments on my blog. srsly (: your recordings are amazing kay? and yes, future recordings. i need to hear them. so you should record.. these future recordings.. in the future...

i can't wait for your vlog! and your 100th post!

♥Mimi said...

BTDUBBS

I SOOOO DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE CHINESE HAHA ;P

AND I COME FROM NANJING

YOU?

ANDWHATELSEISTHERE said...

i really like the way you express your thoughts through your writing. it is really something sophisticated and i can refer to you as a person who has deep thoughts on things. i just really really enjoy your blog.

ANDWHATELSEISTHERE

SHOP

Isabel said...

Haha, people call me "small" and "cute" too. I don't really get it either.

Angelica said...

That crop top/entire outfit is just great. Your posts make me realize that I really want to wear more crop tops!

I am just a bit out of the "small and cute" range personally (except to really tall guys) but I know what you're talking about, it happens to some of my friends all the time and it pisses them off too. For some reason I always thought you were tall though based on your pictures. Oops. But anyway probably people don't realize that there's anything wrong with what they're saying, so maybe you should let them know next time.

Marlena said...

I adore this outfit! <3

Kasia said...

great outfit girl!
;)

http://mypointmystyle.blogspot.com/