"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one"

As much as I love the organization I intern for, I don't exactly love the type of work I've been doing. Following a total break down on Tuesday, I had a major epiphany which could very well be the beginning of my pursuit for real happiness and self-actualization.
If you're a regular reader of my blog, you can probably sense that I sometimes could be a bit of a "bleeding-heart". It is because of my overwhelming sense of naive compassion in certain issues, I am constantly plagued by the guilt of "not doing enough to make the world a better place". Thus, it wasn't until a couple of days ago that I realized what I truly wanted to do and how I can alleviate the weight of the world on my shoulders. I decided that in order to achieve true meaning in my life I want to have a direct and benevolent influence in the lives of those less fortunate. Whether it's helping out the victims of assaults, protecting the rights and freedom of "social outcasts" or even spreading awareness about cases of social injustices. As soon as I realized what I wanted to dedicate my life doing, I felt, for the first time in my life, uplifted and hopeful about the things I thought I couldn't change. I know that this again sounds like an idealistic notion and that I really can't make any substantial contributions in dissolving all of the world's issues and injustices. However, I am going about this a logical way via educational training and gaining experiences. Thus I've decided to first start with a focused career path in the fields of either counseling, law or journalism. Wish me luck in my decision, everyone.

I'm wearing my new shoes (thank you, Isabel) to celebrate my new found future plan.

Another first (first sweater outfit) to commemorate the occasion.

She Don't Use Jelly

If I asked you "what is the best concert you've ever attended?" you'll probably give me a list of shows you've enjoyed in the past. But if I asked "what is the most mind-blowing, soul-inspiring and too-awesome-to describe musical nirvana you've ever experienced" you will probably draw a blank, unless of course, you've seen The Flaming Lips. Last night was one of the most intense concert experiences of my life -- I saw The Flaming Lips at Malkin Bowl at Stanley Park in Vancouver. It's not just that they make awesome music and can always perform it live at a degree which surpasses all of your wildest expectations. It's that these musicians really connect with their fans and truly love what they do as artists who still continue to inspire and create after twenty-seven years. They're the only artist that I can think of who have always stayed true to their experimental and innovative nature, even when they write "pop" songs that end up in salad dressing commercials. If you are not familiar with The Flaming Lips, you honestly owe it to yourself to let them become your muse.

Onto the outfit. I wore this on Friday night when I went out with my friend/drummer of my band and got complimented by a total stranger. He claimed that he works at Holt Renfrew and I was easily the best-dressed person he's seen on the Granville strip all night. If you knew just how hip and stylin' the peeps of Granville street are, you can gauge how deliriously happy I was to hear that comment.

Front Woman

As a woman of this society and someone who is very aware of the gender issues we face on a daily basis, this past week had been a total emotional roller coaster ride. In addition to hearing about the recent atrocities involving the facebook photo postings of a gang rape of a 16 year old girl in Maple Ridge, I learned about the story of Teena Brandon on Monday after watching Boys Don't Cry. As if that was not enough, yesterday, I witnessed first hand an assault of a woman by a man in the back parking lot of my work. Though it is only Thursday, too soon to tell how I would feel for the rest of my life, I have a suspicion that this newly awakened anger and sadness towards the current trend of how women are treated will stay with me for a long time. The truth is, I have felt this way for a long time about all sorts of issues and social injustices, but the difference between reading and seeing first hand a violent act committed towards a woman is unimaginable; the latter experience makes the problem of gender violence a lot more immediate and urgent. Seeing how this is affecting me so much already, I choose not to go into the subject. But I want to raise awareness about it because it is all too real even though sometimes we forget because of how sheltered our lives can get sometimes with our daily routines.

I will end on a positive note by posting my band's first recording for you all to scrutinize. Actually, I'm quite proud of it because I think it sounds pretty good for the first take. Plus I didn't mess up once playing guitar and singing at the same time, even though you can't really hear me and our timing was off at various points throughout the song. Regardless, this is the first song we've ever wrote, so be kind. It's called "King Cats" and it's about ligers.


(sorry about the ads in there, but this the only way I know how to upload an mp3s onto blogger)

Everything I Learned, I Learned It From T.V.

Actually, that's not entirely true because I really don't watch a ton of television. But when I do catch a program that tickles my fancy, I can get real absorbed into the "boob tube". Like today, when I wasn't expecting much quality programing at four o'clock in the afternoon, I watched a charming little documentary on the historical and social evolution of dogs. According to the show, the modern day dog breeds have grew from the original forty variety to over four hundred, due to pedigree breeding. And some dogs are so selectively bred for certain desired physical characteristics, they are unable to adapt to the environment and live a normal and healthy lifespan (ie. bulldogs). So in the end, what we've ended up with are these genetic abominations who are unable to go about their "dog ways" because they are pretty much canine Frankensteins who's fates are completely in the hands of their owners. To give you an idea on just how much dogs have transformed (unnaturally) over the centuries, next time you see a bulldog try and any shred of resemblance to its ancestor, the wolf.


An ending note: we ought to let dogs be dogs.

Losing Mental Fecal Matter

I saw a movie recently called Mysterious Skin. It is by far the most intensely explicit and hard to watch films I had ever encountered (yes, it was even worst than Requiem for a Dream). The movie, I thought was a realistic and harsh portrayal of the ever cringe-inducing subject matter of child sexual abuse which a lot people just wouldn't touch with a thirty-foot pole. But what makes this film successful was far beyond it having an alluring cast and compelling storyline. For little details such the setting and the atmosphere really make the viewers relate to the story and empathize with the characters' afflictions. And the most poignant element which really made this movie what it is, is the music. The soundtrack to this movie is primarily composed of songs by shoegaze bands from the 90's. As a total nut of everything 90's and even a bigger nut for shoegaze/noise rock, I natural lost my shit when I heard songs from bands like Slowdive and Curve and Cocteau Twins.


"Golden Hair" --- Slowdive.

Currently my favorite song.

Seasons Change and So Did I

I spent eight hours in front of a computer yesterday doing grant writing and have never been so terrified of the act of typing after I was finished. So today, instead of brainstorming something to rant about and posting it, I'm afraid I'm going to have to present you all another picture show. It's actually not all that bad because as I was going through my outfit pictures today, I discovered a few photos I have yet to post. So, they are posted here to achieve three major purposes: 1) they're fun to look at; 2) they serve as reminders of the passing of time and change of seasons 3) when analyzed on a deeper level, they are symbols and visual indications of the cyclical nature of things.

I wore this outfit in the middle of June when it was 27 degree (Celsius) out. It was primarily inspired by the cover of Gulag Orkestar by one of my favorite bands, Beirut.

The polka-dot top used to be an awkward length, so did to it what I do to most tops; crop it! I wore this during one of the dog days nearing the end of July, and it was still too damn hot.

This is a recent outfit I wore to my first day of work. It kept me warm in the morning but by the afternoon, shirt-sweater combo seemed like an overkill. Regardless, the days are getting cooler by the minute and I'm starting to regret not getting the most of summer when I had the chance.

Self-Loathing Love Song

Exciting news! Our wannabe band recorded our first live three-song demo today! So now we can finally start working towards establishing a myspace page.
So, I have no idea how this happened. But I have recently went from having little to do, to all of a sudden having potentially four jobs! I think part of it was because I was looking for jobs/opportunities here and there and just ended up with a handful of chunks that eventually added up. So now I am a full-time, unpaid intern at the Canadian Mental Health Association, a free lance staff writer for themodeline.com, a weekend hostess at White Spot and a potential substitute for the Westminster Children's After School Society. You may think that I'm crazy for taking on so much at the same time but I assure you, having a busy life is actually quite exciting to me, until I eventually burn out of course. So even though my responsibilities leave me with little room for a social life, I'm pretty trilled about being productive. Plus with so much to do and a better paying part-time job, I now have more than enough incentive to quit White Spot.

I'm not a huge fan of this photo of me. The shirt looks very bulgy and you can barely tell that I'm wearing shorts rather than a skirt. But I promise this outfit looks a lot better in real life. I was either vibing on my latest professional achievement or reminiscing about going to school when this outfit was put together.

Two Pictures are Worth Two Thousand Words

Instead of ranting today, I want to make this post more outfit-focused because frankly I think I've ran out of things to say (apparently, it is possible).

On the surface, these outfits are seemingly very different in style, at least to me. While the first one is more mod the second one is totally grunge. However, when inspected closely, they both contain more or less the same elements. They both feature a dress of some sort and a secondary coverage; be it a denim dress shirt or a printed cardigan. There's even similarity in the details such as accessories, shoes and leggings. However, despite all that, they're nevertheless of very different aesthetics. Which brings me to the my quote of the day: "The whole is greater than the sum of its parts". And from this quote we can yield a fashion-related lesson which is to always be creative and mix and match your pieces, because everything has the potential to become a part of a few entirely different outfits.